Emergency!!

Don't worry, the plane isn't on fire, its just the crazy steamy aircon of Vietnam Airlines

Location:Trương Định,Ho Chi Minh City,Vietnam

Getting shiny pink suits

Not quite.


Hoi An is a hub of tailors and cobblers and enough to drive any normal woman crazy. I am no exception!

It's hit and miss. I ordered 3 dresses, a jacket and a playsuit and so far have fitted 2 dresses and the suit... They're ok. I'm not holding my breath... They're no stunning shiny pink suits a la top gear.

I also ordered 3 pairs of shoes and a bag... Yet to be seen...so stay tuned.


This is my friend, Heart Crusher. She eats men's hearts for breakfast. We took cyclos yesterday and we looked like giant babies being pushed in prams.

I also rode around on a motorbike a few times, tres daring!


Hoi An by the river


Heart Crusher & I before going out


Heart Crusher and another travel buddy, Number Cruncher. Number Cruncher is hilarious, she plays along with the locals in a cheeky way, she even bartered her vietnamese cone hat back to a local bahaha.






Number Cruncher, Heart Crusher and teacher #1, teacher #2 not pictured.

Greetings from Cat Ba island

Jealous?





After several hectic days in Hanoi, ducking and weaving throughout the bikes and headless rabbits, sailing the amazing Halong Bay to the idyllic Cat Ba island is a welcomed respite.

Our journey yesterday was somewhat hectic as things in Vietnam are not always quite done by the rule... Promises of a smooth journey by Edward scissorhands-like travel agents (he had finger nails longer than mine which he kept gesturing about and distracting me, so I didn't listen to a thing he said) weren't as true as we'd believe.
Lots of confusion and sitting around waiting, chatting with equally confused fellow tourists, comparing itineraries and fending off eager street hawkers. But we got here eventually and it was worth it!






The floating village as visited by the top gear crew - a clear high light for me!

Today we hired bikes for $3 and felt like children as we rode to Cat Ba Co 3, the beach as pictured at the top. I write this as I sit drinking my coke light and enjoy the beautiful surrounds...

Lesson 1: Driving in Vietnam

It's a Top Gear inspired trip, let's start with the road rules that first initiate us in this fine country!

1 - it's a two lane road (if there's any markings at all!) but feel free to make a third lane on top the broken line down the middle.
2 - motorbikes rule!! Cars.....WHY??
3 - motorbikes are best carrying two or more passengers. Squish additional children in between. I saw a baby riding on the front of the handle bars last night.
4 - helmets optional
5 - shoes optional
6 - honking horn at nothing essential
7 - the rules are... There are no rules....

Side note: to my delight, rickshaws still exist... But the sort of ones where someone pedal powers the cart from behind, so they probably have a different name I don't know about. However the only people I saw facilitating these rickshaws were fat old white people :/

Mini break ahoy

Spent a lovely long weekend with my family in Mollymook, a few hours south of Sydney, celebrating my beautiful mama's 60th birthday. In total style of course, staying at Rick Steins gorgeous restaurant/hotel, Bannister's.


Crummy photo trying to include the infinity pool and ocean from my room. Fail.

Omg the food was to die for!! All and sundry (well anyone who will listen) know I'm not a big seafood fan, but if it always tasted this good, I'd eat nothing else!!!


My escalopes of salmon.... I die.



Cake's ornate sashimi.



Sister Cake & Sailor Jerry



Dad and Bonne Mamo!

Also went country market and op shopping! Got me a fantastic 50's anodized cocktail shaker and 70s silverknit top, as well as I've possibly been convinced to join a trek to a Nepalese orphanage in 2012 by a local lady I met who travels there yearly to raise money for it. It's probably a bad thing that it was not the orphanage bit that attracted me but the opportunity to stay with local woman who will teach me traditional crafting techniques :/

Next episode

Hello God, its me, Jane.

I've been home now a good 2 months... almost 3. New adventure has already been planned, STAT! I have been sorely tempted to ditch this though and travel with my friend to Malaysia for the Christmas holidays to visit her family (god wouldn't they love me to drop in on them too?).

Wish I could, but unlikely as I've just started a new job as a textile designer for a fashion manufacturing company. Want to keep them happy as I'm actually enjoying the job. Surprise!

But back to the new plan - 2011: South East Asia: Vietnam, Cambodia, Laos. Probably Sometime between August-October. Already got some great recruits on board, I'm loving the idea to get a group of people together and make a great unofficial tour of such a beautiful landscape. Maybe hire bikes!! (shh, don't tell mum but I'd love to ride a moped around there a la Top Gear). I am dreaming of sailing between the tiny islands of Halong Bay.... arrrghhhh!! There is so much to see and so little time......

Saatchi Gallery, London

The last time I was in London, this gallery was under renovation so I was keen to get myself there this time, having read and heard so much about the pivotal influence Charles saatchi has had on British art since the early 90s and the infamous YBAs.

The Saatchi gallery did not disapoint! I loved it and I love what they are currently doing for (newer) young British artists, and transplants now living in London, promoting and supporting emerging talent as well as exhibiting established artists. The work was fresh and exciting and got me motivated to get back into my own practice when I return home (next week, sadness).








I loved the work of this painter, Pheobe Unwin:











And this work was phenominal, this is a huge tank filled with oil, filling the entire space:








And props to Cher:

The Barras Market

The Barras flea market (more like flea-ridden market) was quoted as being the heart and soul of Glasgow. To me, it was more like the bastard spawn of the former contents of my parents' old asbestos-laden granny flat (you know, the old one that got demolished) held IN the asbestos laden granny flat, but several bigger, crappier flats. Actually more like the garage that was also knocked down. Under council orders.*


But don't let that fool you, these markets still provided me with much amusement and typically, I rarely by anything when perusing markets, so the crappier or weirder, the better for me. Cheap entertainment.


First encounter was with this dog. It looks like a long haired Border Collie but apparently it's called a "Beerdeh". Never heard of it, sounds like a fake breed. I'm sure that's not what it is but that's what I heard. I can't understand these people, that's ok though, I've not understood anyone for near four months, English speaking or not. (Please note I still love the accent. A dude sId to me today, "surely you can give me a wee smile lass, it's Saturday!" bahahaha)

I don't know where to start when attempting to describe these markets. The word crap comes to mind, but pictures speak a thousand words...


I don't know why I took this photo. Look at that record with the thing in the yellow hair on it. It looks like that bass playing hermaphrodite from the muppets.



Many dream catchers to catch many dreams. Or nightmares. Or night terrors, I should get one, hey Cake??


This market sold many bongs which I'm used to now since visiting France. But gravestones and cemetry paraphernalia I am not use to. This is a first and hats off to Glasgow cos death is an expensive business and lord knows I'll be grumbling when that fucking Valkyrie-length Catholic ceremony funeral my family has planned out eats into my inheritance, I'll be wanting to save a few $$$ so I know I'll be heading to the low prices of Barras. If only Wally Bedser was given a heads up.**



While shopping in the spiritual section, why not grab a religious statue or two to adorn the grave?these are brand new so none of that antique crap the Barcelona markets were pimping. Grab a photo of sith lord pope darth sidius while you are at it. Strange for a Protestant country.....??!?



All the religious shopping makes one tired... Head for the market pokies. These would go down a treat with the hipster wanktards at Glebe markets.



Prociutto anyone? Good thing I'm opening a deli soon. Best photo I missed - the stall that only sold second hand remote controls. Old man store owner looked like a creepy pedo so I decided not to photograph.



Looks like what dad has been claiming himself to be for years IS true. When you're cooking that humble pie ma, you'll probably need one of these:


For the uneducated - you put it inthe middle of your pie and it lets the steam out.



This photo should be the biggest deterent NOT to enter the ever tempting illustrious world of porn. What you can't see very well in this photo just where the old fart is standing is a sign saying Over 18s only - Adult Material or something. More like over 80s only - every greasy bugger pawing through the DVDs in that alcove was grey haired and had one foot firmly planted in the grave. Yuck. I really think that says it all.


* Not really under council orders, I just thought that made it sound more dramatic. But there was asbestos in both structures so they were both demolished in January 1997. RIP Granny Flat.

** that's a family joke. This guy buried near my grandparents has a big rock dedicated to him and his country music and ferris wheel career.

The Sunnyhill Monalisa, Belfast

Always watching the heinous Catholics!!!

Larrybane & Giant's Causeway

Some phenominal landscape in Ireland...

Larrybane and the rope bridge:









The giant's eye in the distance, beyond the mist lies the Mull of Kyntyre and Paul McCartney. Or Scotland, rather:


Ok this is stunning - the Giant's Causeway, another big reason I came to view the north.


Stupid people always in the way of my damn photos.