White whine #3: Being mistaken as Russian

Salesman in Printempts (after my crap attempts at French): Where are you from?
Me: Australia
Salesman: Oh I thought you were Russian
Me: Really? Why?
Salesman: Because you have fake blonde hair
Me: *mock horror* Thats an insult! You know in Australia, Russian women only come there to snag a husband so they can stay there?
Him: *total deadpan* I know this.

All things French

I have never been to France but my brother lives there. He is marrying a "French" woman, (lets call her B) although her real "Frenchness" has come into question and I do have some concerns.

I've studied art and the great French masters at university so clearly I'm an expert. Many things that I and a great number of other knowledgeable people associate with France, my soon-to-be sister in law claims to have little knowledge nor association with. For instance:

• She claims no one dresses like this:

Ok, I'll let B slide on that one. Considering the look is very dated, the beret is kind of cliche and I imagine the horizontal striped attire does not suit all figures (especially those who like to indulge the baguettes, cheese and wine on a daily basis). However, the facial hair is a reasonable possibility for both genders over 50, especially those Mediterranean types that like to sneak across the border.

• B said "Yoplait" is not French for "yum", it is in fact French for nothing at all. Lies!
  
  
• She also claims this band is not French but BELGIAN:

The Plastic Bertrand Band - Undeniably ridiculous and French-sounding.

• Perhaps most shockingly of all, B has practically no interest and utmost repulsion for France's only known actor, Gérard Depardieu:

The jury is still out on B.

Thanks a lot, volcano.

Seeing as I like to skim the news and only get half the story, I'm still unsure if this damn volcano in Iceland will interrupt my precious travels to their historic Norse land next month.

Being a first world middle class white woman and all, the main thing I care about is the fact that I've already booked my flights and I don't particularly want to endure their toxic ash and bloody whinging about it all. Plus would it be too much to ask if I could manage to get a decent meal of beer battered whale and chips while I'm there? Probably.



Footage of actual volcano in Iceland