Amsterdam - total rubbish

So when i first arrived, the streets were covered in litter, public bins overflowed and bags of rubbish piled up on every street corner.

In my jet laggedly state, my initial impression was, maybe this is just European? But I don't remember Italy looking quite so trashed and they seem to be more retarded in that regard.





This is a refined photo btw, the streets looked far more garbage tip-like than this (think sarah's - I think that's her name - nightmare in "the labrynth" when she thinks shes in her bed room but it turns into a rubbish dump and theres a crazy muppet bag lady, much like that one who used to inhabit hurstville, going through all her things...)
I thought, these Dutch people are doing their bit riding bikes everywhere yet they can't control their shit? I was scoffing it up big time. And a side note, the Dutch really rock the art of bike riding.... I've seen dudes hanging off a bike, text messaging and checking out chicks simultaneously, not to mention ladies in killer heals, balancing handbags and children on the handles. Impressive. Sans helmet.

Anywho, turns out there's just been a garbage collecting strike for 2 weeks. It's over now APPARENTLY but they've neglected to collect all the bogan Aussies I seem to have encountered. There's more to this city than weed you know. Like eastern europes finest working women.

And riddle me this Dutch people, I get Bob Marley (not really though because I'll never "get" reggae) but how are aliens aligned with smoking marijuana? If not sporting the jamaican flag, every second coffee shop has this retarded, emaciated alien looking thing with a doobie hanging out of it's mouth. This does not entice me, this says "get high and make sure you protect all your orrofices".

Location:Leidsekade,Amsterdam,The Netherlands

That fucking car... an update - BY POPULAR DEMAND (ie 1 request)

This should just become a blog about trying to sell my car and not my travels, as the topic seems to be dominating the page lately.

Anywho - the latest update in the saga that is my pariah of a car.... there is no update. Scary Wog was all talk and no action, much like all the men I encounter and I never heard from him again. He must be reading this - hey Akbar, how'd the driveby go in the cheaper corolla?

But I'm also informed by the Don that I should replace my hubcaps, renew my rego and give my car a good clean. Again. Why don't I just get my "spare" thousand dollars in coin and roll them one by one into the gutter?

Then again, if that little punk on the scooter with the shitty 2 stroke motor does not stop riding back and forth outside the window right now, it may make new hubcaps worth it after I make a dick sandwich of him with the fence and my magna.

Don't count your cars before they sell...

I pretty much resigned to the fact my car wouldn't sell before I left. I went in warned its a tough time to sell a second hand car right now but I didn't know how tough. At least I got the thrill of being an attempted scam-ee.

So I get a call the other night about the car, not unusual, I've had a few inquiries resulting in NOTHING and I'm sure this will be much the same... this guy wants to see my car NOW (its 7pm, and also "dark" outside) and is willing to give me cash in hand on the spot. He is also pretty aggressive and what I like to call "scary wog" sounding (hey I never claimed to be politically correct). Now ain't a good time for me, I say, how about in the daylight? I WILL CALL TOMORROW he says AND IF I LIKE IT I WILL GIVE YOU THE CASH ON THE SPOT.... ok, point taken.

I'm sure if this one goes ahead, I'll be contacted by the police in regards to the silver magna used as the get-away vehicle during a robbery in Punchbowl.

For All The Cows

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ANZAC weekend

This is my grandfather, who is probably around my age or a little older in this photograph. He served with the RAF as Bomber Command during WW2, flying 37 missions over Germany and France with his crew, all whom returned.

Subject aside, I really love this photograph. I think the light and shadow play capture an elegant strength and bravery.

All things French

I have never been to France but my brother lives there. He is marrying a "French" woman, (lets call her B) although her real "Frenchness" has come into question and I do have some concerns.

I've studied art and the great French masters at university so clearly I'm an expert. Many things that I and a great number of other knowledgeable people associate with France, my soon-to-be sister in law claims to have little knowledge nor association with. For instance:

• She claims no one dresses like this:

Ok, I'll let B slide on that one. Considering the look is very dated, the beret is kind of cliche and I imagine the horizontal striped attire does not suit all figures (especially those who like to indulge the baguettes, cheese and wine on a daily basis). However, the facial hair is a reasonable possibility for both genders over 50, especially those Mediterranean types that like to sneak across the border.

• B said "Yoplait" is not French for "yum", it is in fact French for nothing at all. Lies!
  
  
• She also claims this band is not French but BELGIAN:

The Plastic Bertrand Band - Undeniably ridiculous and French-sounding.

• Perhaps most shockingly of all, B has practically no interest and utmost repulsion for France's only known actor, Gérard Depardieu:

The jury is still out on B.

Thanks a lot, volcano.

Seeing as I like to skim the news and only get half the story, I'm still unsure if this damn volcano in Iceland will interrupt my precious travels to their historic Norse land next month.

Being a first world middle class white woman and all, the main thing I care about is the fact that I've already booked my flights and I don't particularly want to endure their toxic ash and bloody whinging about it all. Plus would it be too much to ask if I could manage to get a decent meal of beer battered whale and chips while I'm there? Probably.



Footage of actual volcano in Iceland

Japan

It is approx 1 year today since I returned from my trip to Japan! I will be re-visiting Tokyo on my way to Europe, albeit very briefly.

Japan is a very safe country to visit as an international tourist, crime is virtually non-existent and while not as many people as you'd expect are able to speak English, they will do their best to try and help you out with whatever it is you are trying to find/do/see.

On the flip side, Japanese people really like creepy cartoon-porn called hentai. Well, we can't all be perfect.

Me & some new devotees @ Kyoto Station, waiting for the Shinkasen (bullet train)

I smell a scam

I'm currently trying to sell my car. (Just a side note, its a great car. Its just way too big for me and I don't want to pay insurance while the car is sitting dormant for months. If you're keen, mention this blog post and I'll give you a 10% discount! HAHA)

I've had a few phone calls and emails of interest, but nothing solid. Then I get this too-good-to-be-true email from someone in the UK expressing interest in buying my car, unseen, but needing to know it had no mechanical faults or major accidents. No, I said, it has not. Wonderful, they reply, I will pay you via paypal and my shipping agent will take care of the rest!

I am suspicious from the first email, (however this is not unusual for me as I'm suspicious of anyone who merely pays me a compliment.... what do THEY want?) because why would someone go to the trouble of importing a run of the mill Mitsubishi to the UK? Do they not have average family sedans in England? HAHA.

Then the way certain sentences were phrased in the second email made me go... hrmm, this was not written by someone for whom english was their first language. While their grasp of the english language was better than most of the bogans I've encountered during my lifetime, it was the awkward turn of phrase and almost nonsensical over supply of needless information that made me think......STRANGE THINGS ARE A FOOT AT THE CIRCLE K.
Anywho, putting on my deerstalker hat and donning my bubble pipe, I never let down my guard and reveal NOTHING (much like my swimming attire) but being the money hungry whore that I am, I thought if this person actually deposits the full amount into my Paypal account and it clears, they can feed my car to the Easter Show truckasaurus for all I care.


Then I get the glorious 3rd email - Oh no, there seems to be a problem in this all too perfect transaction!!! The shipping agent only takes payment via Western Union, and my buyer is apparently too retarded to be able to pay this fee. Could I pay the fee in advance which I will then be fully reimbursed for? Then inserted is some convoluted mathematical equation showing the way the fee is worked out based on the selling price of the car plus some percentage signs and decimal points to make it seem like a legitimate equation in which a fabricated fee is actually created.

Any other faux blonde with only a year 12 2U mathematic level education may have been duped by these seemingly genuine figures, but not this chick. What these would be scam artists fail to realise is that I ignore ANYTHING involving stupid equations because I hated maths class (I mostly skipped it to work on my painting) so once they threw in that spanner, I'm like, THE DEAL IS OFF. Also, I'm not really blonde. My hair is actually dark brown. I think. So the joke is on them.

I can't let anyone try and trick the trickster. The mature thing to do would've been to delete the email but I like to have the last word and am not mature. I wrote back in my most firm but polite and professional tone, that I would be not sending a single red cent to any Western Union account but they are most welcome to send me the entire price for my car and once the money had completely cleared into my account, the transaction would then be dealt with via my solicitor.

Stick a pin in me, I'm vaccinated

5 needles and $165 later, I'm only partially vaccinated. 3 more to go!