The Barras Market

The Barras flea market (more like flea-ridden market) was quoted as being the heart and soul of Glasgow. To me, it was more like the bastard spawn of the former contents of my parents' old asbestos-laden granny flat (you know, the old one that got demolished) held IN the asbestos laden granny flat, but several bigger, crappier flats. Actually more like the garage that was also knocked down. Under council orders.*


But don't let that fool you, these markets still provided me with much amusement and typically, I rarely by anything when perusing markets, so the crappier or weirder, the better for me. Cheap entertainment.


First encounter was with this dog. It looks like a long haired Border Collie but apparently it's called a "Beerdeh". Never heard of it, sounds like a fake breed. I'm sure that's not what it is but that's what I heard. I can't understand these people, that's ok though, I've not understood anyone for near four months, English speaking or not. (Please note I still love the accent. A dude sId to me today, "surely you can give me a wee smile lass, it's Saturday!" bahahaha)

I don't know where to start when attempting to describe these markets. The word crap comes to mind, but pictures speak a thousand words...


I don't know why I took this photo. Look at that record with the thing in the yellow hair on it. It looks like that bass playing hermaphrodite from the muppets.



Many dream catchers to catch many dreams. Or nightmares. Or night terrors, I should get one, hey Cake??


This market sold many bongs which I'm used to now since visiting France. But gravestones and cemetry paraphernalia I am not use to. This is a first and hats off to Glasgow cos death is an expensive business and lord knows I'll be grumbling when that fucking Valkyrie-length Catholic ceremony funeral my family has planned out eats into my inheritance, I'll be wanting to save a few $$$ so I know I'll be heading to the low prices of Barras. If only Wally Bedser was given a heads up.**



While shopping in the spiritual section, why not grab a religious statue or two to adorn the grave?these are brand new so none of that antique crap the Barcelona markets were pimping. Grab a photo of sith lord pope darth sidius while you are at it. Strange for a Protestant country.....??!?



All the religious shopping makes one tired... Head for the market pokies. These would go down a treat with the hipster wanktards at Glebe markets.



Prociutto anyone? Good thing I'm opening a deli soon. Best photo I missed - the stall that only sold second hand remote controls. Old man store owner looked like a creepy pedo so I decided not to photograph.



Looks like what dad has been claiming himself to be for years IS true. When you're cooking that humble pie ma, you'll probably need one of these:


For the uneducated - you put it inthe middle of your pie and it lets the steam out.



This photo should be the biggest deterent NOT to enter the ever tempting illustrious world of porn. What you can't see very well in this photo just where the old fart is standing is a sign saying Over 18s only - Adult Material or something. More like over 80s only - every greasy bugger pawing through the DVDs in that alcove was grey haired and had one foot firmly planted in the grave. Yuck. I really think that says it all.


* Not really under council orders, I just thought that made it sound more dramatic. But there was asbestos in both structures so they were both demolished in January 1997. RIP Granny Flat.

** that's a family joke. This guy buried near my grandparents has a big rock dedicated to him and his country music and ferris wheel career.